Jack Fallows was last seen in Newcastle Upon Tyne, awkwardly shuffling around a supermarket, sweating profusely and staring for several hours at energy-saving light bulbs.

If you want him to draw pictures for you, like if you were in a band and you needed a poster or an album cover, or say you were writing a book and it needed illustrations, or if you were a rich prince who needed a tapestry or something, just drop him a line.

This is the address you send electronic mail messages to if you'd like him to receive them: jack@jackfallows.com.

Alternatively, you can send him a smoke signal on: PUFF-PUFF-GHUST-SWOOSH-PUFF. He looks forward to hearing from you.